What a shame this wasn't written as Perl poetry. ;) And as a footnote to verse 13, HTML-like structures (that is, if HTML were "perfect") can be parsed (albeit with effort) with regexes. But now it seems like I've started Protestantism or something, so I'll back off from that. ;) That being said, I humbly offer this translation.

substr("Erudil to the Monasterians", 0, 1);

1 . Erudil->isa(PerlHacker)

.. [ "vroom", @saints, @monastery ];

2 . undef $^W, close(STDERR) and !$! for 1..100;

3 . -M Erudil > 2*365 and
$appreciation{$_}++ for
qw( place custodians members );

4 . do { for (@brothers, @sisters)
{ listen up, hearken } continue {
to: wait() and study() for grep
!clue($_) && ignorant($_), Visitors-
To-Our-Blessed-Monastery } };

5 . do { not rebuke($words{harsh} =~ /RTFM/),
but }, lead-with-URLs if wisdom->isa(
goal-of-theirs); 6 . allow for newbies and
instruct(grep $_, @contents); 7. for 0 <
grep errant || ignorant, @us;

8 . consider; these:
9 . ($^H & 0x602) and bless($they),
for typos < troubles;
10 . $^W and bless($they),
for $errors -> (0);
11 . %CGI:: and bless($they),
for eval { pass-parameters }
and not $@;
12 . eval "use CPAN; 1" and bless($they),
for $wheels_not_reinvented > 1e9;

13 . qr// and bless($they),
for HTML-time == 0;
14 . insults? ridicule? blessed:
are: you, for time and
effort < theirs;

15 . grep refuser($_), @those ?
(do { not allow flame wars } or
disrepute): yourselves or Monastery;
16 . study well::, $$ = 0 for
grep cool lost, grep flamewar
winner, @men; time < age-of-reason   
and 17 . those who suffer thus, do {
consider: like me, close mouth,
select words, carefully, to edify,
to inform };

18 . $_++ for @brothers, @sisters, 
restorers-of-faith and $^T = time,

19 . good-syntax and efficient-
algorithms; 20 . eval { $$ref; 1 }
and study, study Perl, study
bless$ed, Perl;

21 . Amen and amen;
[download]

_____________________________________________________
Jeff[japhy]Pinyan: Perl, regex, and perl hacker, who'd like a (from-home) job
s++=END;++y(;-P)}y js++=;shajsj<++y(p-q)}?print:??;