Looking through E2 the other day I found the Nodespoting node and a few others similar to it. I like the idea so I decided to have a go. It isn't that good but here goes.....

Choose perl. Choose a version 5.6. Choose a fscking big computer, choose a compiler that runs code faster than asm, fork(), late nights, and electrical coffee makers. Choose no sleep, high caffeine and day dreaming in code. Choose mocking people who use python. Choose a perlmonks t-shirt with matching socks. Choose having more modules than CPAN. Choose the apache module and wondering why the fsck you are logged into perlmonks on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting in that swivel chair looking at lines of obfu, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pishing your last in some miserable newsgroup, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fsck'd up lusers VBasic spawned to replace Real Programmers. Choose your future. Choose to use perl;

Note: did the fsck's becuase I was unsure of the policy and didn't want to offend anyone, and I'm sure you're all old enough to fill in the gaps :) Also, I didn't put in the <code> tags because I get nasty little +'s all over :( I hear the Node Reaper already....

Dr Lambado
What's the point of killing someone if you can't eat them too?