"So you see, I hate perl. I hate software developers. I really wish you would all grow up and learn how to be the professionals we pay for."

All I see is hatred. Perhaps having an open mind along with a willingness to discuss with your teams and management on how the personnel issues could be rectified may better your outlook.

You don't have a Perl or systems problem, you have a personnel, policy/prodecure and personal attitude problem.

Embrace the difficulties, document the issues, and bring them to light. At least that's what I did in my two decades as a global network engineer and systems engineer/administrator, all the while being a software developer.

Discuss with the development manager and team leads the ideas you have to streamline processes instead of just grunting about them privately on an Internet Perl forum. Make an attempt to fix things internally. Be the quality systems admin that you're being paid to be.