In conjunction with my final meditation, I give you the return of The Drunken Poet. Written in the "Weird Al Song Parody" style to be sung to the music of Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places". For those non-Americans, or for those who simply hate country music, forgive me... I'm from the Midwest in the USA. :-)

Friends in Perl Spaces

I blame it all on these kooks,
with their pink-hued rat books.
They've ruined my Perl love affair.

As they all crow,
I tell you this really blows.
I'm the last one to hold out and care.

And imagine my cries
as the world fell for their lies.
On my face is written the pain.

And they boasted too,
said, "ha, ha now you are screwed,"
and I'll never cease to complain!

But I've got friends in Perl spaces
where the $igils lead
and the postfix chases extra lines away.
@will_miss_it = $every_day->@*;

Yeah, I'm not big on syntax white spaces.
Their monotonous code is causing brain stasis!
Oh, I'll miss my friends in Perl Spaces!

Well, I guess I was wrong.
Python zeal is too strong.
It's past time I acknowledge the score.

I put up a good fight,
not gently in to the night,
but now I'm knocked out on the floor.

It's almost obscene
the snake cult followers gleaned,
and I can't escape it again.

They say that I
have to submit to their power,
no, I just can't win!

But I've got friends in Perl spaces
where the $igils lead
and the postfix chases extra lines away.
@will_miss_it = $every_day->@*;

Yeah, I'm not big on syntax white spaces.
Their monotonous code is causing brain stasis!
Oh, I'll miss my friends in Perl Spaces!

I'll miss my friends in Perl spaces
where the $igils lead
and the postfix chases extra lines away.
@will_miss_it = $every_day->@*;

Yeah, I'm not big on syntax white spaces
Their monotonous code is causing brain stasis
Oh, I'll miss my friends in Perl Spaces!

I'll miss my friends in Perl spaces
where the $igils lead
and the postfix chases extra lines away.
@will_miss_it = $every_day->@*;

Yeah, I'm not big on syntax white spaces
Their monotonous code is causing brain stasis
Oh, I'll miss my friends in Perl Spaces!

Yeah, I'll miss my friends in Perl Spaces!