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Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl

by smitz (Chaplain)
on Sep 19, 2002 at 07:50 UTC ( [id://199094]=perlmeditation: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

San Francisco, CA - Recent results from the standardized Perl Fluency Test showed that 99.99% of US high school seniors can't read Perl. This disturbing statistic shows that American students are painfully unprepared for life after graduation.

"This shows that there is a real need for a Perl Monk in every classroom," said Perl Monk Kelly Adrity. "We've got computers in every classroom, now we need our kids to be able to use them, and what better way to learn about computers than to learn how to read and write in Perl. I'm glad the budget proposed by President Bush sets aside millions for Perl Monks. America will lead the way in Perl literacy."

The four hour test had 2 sections, a simple translation section and a project section. The first part asked students to translate easy Perl phrases into their standard English equivalent, and the second section required students to produce a simple MP3 player in Perl. "I didn't know what the hell any of it meant," said one Senior, "it had lots of slashes and periods and brackets. It was so confusing. I'm feeling rather nauseous."

Perl experts were astounded by the results. "I was amazed that none of the students were able to read this simple sentence:

[elided] "I mean, come on, that's so easy," said Paul Chen, Chairman of the Learn Perl or Die Association, which administered the test nationwide. "Teachers need to start with simple phrases like $RF=~tr/A-Z/a-z/; and work up from there. We really need to start teaching this in first grade if kids are ever going to understand this by high school."

Not everyone shared Mr. Chen's view about the necessity of adding Perl to early elementary curricula. Programmers Against Perl (PAP) spokesperson, Keith Willingham said, "There's no better way to scare students away from computers than exposing them to Perl. Even experienced programmers are frightened and confused by it. The Perl lobby is just getting too powerful, and they need to be stopped."


Kindly taken from bbspot.com
The question is, is the author a monk?

Brought to you by the Learn Perl or Die Association and the pragma "strict".

Update: Probably should have mentioned that yes, I got permission from the editor to copy this. As if I'd bring the monastery into disrepute! Honestly...

Edited by planetscape - removed proprietary and copyrighted content (DeCSS code), per longstanding precedent

( keep:10 edit:18 reap:2 )

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl
by Anonymous Monk on Sep 19, 2002 at 08:23 UTC

    The original bbspot article can be found here. You should also make it clearer that you obtained their permission prior to posting their article here (you did check, right?).

      Soitanly!

      Brain Biggs of bbspot has checked this.
      briggsb at bbspot dot com if any seniors want to check

        Didn't doubt you for a minute ;-).

        Now, you didn't illegally download that mp3 you're listening to, did you? =D

Re: Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl
by Maclir (Curate) on Sep 19, 2002 at 13:13 UTC
    And statistics show 100% of all smokers will die too. :)
      71.4% of statistics are made up on the spot.
      --
      It's not pessimism if there is a worse option, it's not paranoia when they are and it's not cynicism when you're right.
        85% of people didn't know that.
        Every 13.5 seconds someone in america suffers a severe head injury. Boy, am I glad I'm not that guy!
        And the other 34.52% are wrong...

        There is no emoticon for what I'm feeling now.

      And fifteen of every dozen Americans have trouble with fractions.

      --
      tbone1
      As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

        Actually, there are 10 types of people in the world; those that understand binary notation, and those that don't.

      Ah, yes!
      But what they don't want you to know is that 100% of non-smokers will die as well! ;)

        100% of all people who eat carrots die.
Re: Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl
by Vennis (Pilgrim) on Sep 19, 2002 at 13:49 UTC
    If they could just read 1 single line of Perl...

    Q: Why did the Perlmonk cross the road?
    A: He wanted to escape the match.

Re: Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl
by shenme (Priest) on Sep 20, 2002 at 05:00 UTC
    The call to action here is forming a political action committee to guide politicians on their decisions. If we don't counter the Programmers Against Perl group they will sway politicians from fear of PAP smears, should they not pass the PAP's tests. As Monks, we must show them another way, lest we all end up down a dark tunnel we'd rather not go.

    I'm a pessimist about probabilities; I'm an optimist about possibilities.
          Lewis Mumford

      The call to action here is forming a political action committee to guide politicians on their decisions.

      Get involved with politicians? Haven't we suffered enough?

      --
      tbone1
      As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Re: Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl
by biograd (Friar) on Sep 21, 2002 at 00:46 UTC
    As soon as I saw the title to this node, I knew what it was. It's an interesting call-back for me, because this article was the first place I'd ever seen the term "Perl Monk". It made me curious enough to find the Monastery, and that led me all sorts of places with my now-completed MS project. Maybe I should be thanking bbspot for my present path. :)

    I think it was the sigils that did it from there. Gotta love 'em.

    Jenn

Re: Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl
by sauoq (Abbot) on Sep 19, 2002 at 21:01 UTC
    There are lies, damn lies, and statistics.
    Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
    -sauoq
    "My two cents aren't worth a dime.";
    
      "There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies and statistics."

      Actually it was probably Benjamin Disraeli, Mark Twain attributed it to him in his autobiography.

      --
      Until you've lost your reputation, you never realize what a burden it was or what freedom really is. -Margaret Mitchell

Re: Test Shows 99.99% of High School Seniors Can't Read Perl
by ysth (Canon) on Oct 12, 2006 at 07:21 UTC
    said one Senior, "it had lots of slashes and periods and brackets. It was so confusing. I'm feeling rather nauseous."
    I believe the Senior meant nauseated, a very different thing than nauseous. Apparently lack of Perl skills is not the only worry we need have.

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