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Programing languages as wines

by alien_life_form (Pilgrim)
on Dec 04, 2002 at 10:18 UTC ( #217448=perlmeditation: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

Perl's aftertaste is clean, harsh, steely.
Python's is velvety, weak, weedy.

Changed to conform to the glossary quoted below... I still think "slimy" would be better than "weedy", tho'

Replies are listed 'Best First'.
Re: Programing languages as wines
by broquaint (Abbot) on Dec 04, 2002 at 11:08 UTC
    • C - dry, full-bodied, woody
    • C++ - big, complex, earthy
    • Java - fat, crisp, chewy
    • Lisp - fine, vigorous, smoky
    • AWK - ripe, honest, foxy
    My thanks to this handy wine glossary.


      I always figured Perl more of a 'White Cider'.
      Cheap, effective, and with a taste not unlike champagne!

      everything else?, gin.


      Let's try a couple more

      • Ruby - light, sweet, fruity
      • C# - fat, crisp, chewy (Bizarre. Doesn't this sound like ...) but with bad finish
      • Python - full-bodied, simple, but a bit honest
      • PHP - Mad Dog 20/20 ('nuff said)
      pascal - - - - - - - Fruity, obnoxious, course
      X86 assembly - - - - simple, astringent, austere, prone to being moldy
      BASIC - - - - - - - Nutty, with some Off-Flavors
      Visual Basic - - - - Nutty, thick, with a bitter aftertaste
      SQL - - - - - - - - Dull, buttery
Re: Programing languages as wines
by logan (Curate) on Dec 04, 2002 at 19:05 UTC
    C++ requires the use of a complex series of corkscrews to open the bottle. In recent years, various tools have been created to make the opening procedure easier and more standardized. These tools, require either reconfiguration for each individual bottle, or extensive training in customization of the arcane facets of the corkscrew.

    The main effect is that many potential imbibers become frustrated at the barriers to Chateau C++, and the power therein, and opt for a different vintage: Pinot Perl, Shellpagne, or a cup of Java. The saddest of these can be found slumped in an alley behind a PDP 11 guzzling a 40 of Olde Fortran Malt Liquor.

    Some tipplers attempt a long route to make the corkscrew learning curve easier. They become connissers of other wines in the hope that when they at last turn to C++, they will have the experience to make C++ go down easier. They are inevitably frustrated, as they have used a bottle-opening model that is silky and robust. When they begin pulling at the C++ bottle, they will be heard to slur "It doesn't have to be this hard!" before reaching for a glass of one of their old favorites in an attempt to get drunk before closing time.

    "What do I want? I'm an American. I want more."

Re: Programing languages as wines
by dws (Chancellor) on Dec 04, 2002 at 18:32 UTC
    C++'s taste is spoiled somewhat by the pieces of cork that break off and end up in the glass, unless one has a lot of training and practice using the rather quirky corkscrew that is required to open the bottle. Many fingers get damaged learning to wield that corkscrew.
Re: Programing languages as wines
by dingus (Friar) on Dec 05, 2002 at 08:48 UTC
    APL is a fortified wine and somewhat of an acquired taste. Consumption in large amounts may lead to terminal insanity.

    Java - somewhat objectional structure, hints of coffee, open to interpretation but often seems to be created just before consumpton.

    Lisp - orotund (perhaps excessively). Inspirational (but are the results (of the inspirations (caused by imbibing (the wine)) of the drinker) worthwhile?)

    Cobol - Flatters to deceive, apparently a powerful and complex wine, but leaves an unpleasant aftertaste. Older vintages should probably be avoided


    Enter any 47-digit prime number to continue.
Re: Programing languages as wines
by logan (Curate) on Dec 10, 2002 at 06:14 UTC
    Perl. Originally produced by the Wall Vinyard, it's now produced by a global commune of gardeners and vintners in Camelton, CPAN. The wine itself is a complex brew. It has found a place throughout the culinary world from simple quick cooking to complex tasting events and state dinners.

    Perl is produced in a manner unlike any other wine. Each vintage takes at least two years to reach the bottle. 15 years after the original batch, work continues on the 6th pressing.

    The first taste is generally a shock of misunderstanding, the palate awash in strange symbology. As time passes, more distinct tones and flavors make themselves known. As one gains familiarity with a given vintage, more uses emerge. Over the years, Perl has been found to be more than a cooking wine or a base for punch. When properly served, the subtle flavors can compliment any course or entree from Sundogs to Penguin to a Big Mac. Still, the flexibility and elasticity of the wine make it best at linking courses.

    "What do I want? I'm an American. I want more."

Re: (nrd) Programing languages as wines
by newrisedesigns (Curate) on Dec 04, 2002 at 20:26 UTC

    Could it be that they get better with age?

    Perhaps a revival of Lisp, Fortran and COBOL is in order...

    John J Reiser

      Nooooo, not COBOL! Please! I promise I'll be good.

      Lisp and Fortran (esp. the recent, revised versions) do deserve attention though. So do Smalltalk and Prolog. All these "exotic" languages emphasise(sp?) paradigms that are imperative (hah!) to know in order to become a well rounded programmer.

      Java and C++ make you think that the new ideas are like the old ones. Java is the most distressing thing to hit computing since MS-DOS.
      -- Alan Kay

      Makeshifts last the longest.

      Chubb stopped offering classes in COBOL. I thought COBOL was dying a well deserved death. And now you are calling for its revival?

      while ($newrisedesigns->hasXP()) {

      I never liked typing enough to be a COBOL programmer.

/bin/sh! how can we forget that!
by dmitri (Priest) on Dec 10, 2002 at 02:55 UTC
    sh - thick, developed, heady.
Re: Programing languages as wines
by spurperl (Priest) on Dec 05, 2002 at 06:39 UTC
    I'd like to offer a little addendum:

    Lisp - it feels right, just like a fine wine should be. In fact, after some time you realize its the one-and-only, true wine. This is what was meant when wine was first made.
    However, it's not popular because pointy-haired-bosses are afraid of it.

      Grr... I think I need a better ending for this :-)

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