I have to agree with talexb, mt2k -- the fact that this website, and your feelings about your place in it, and the crisis you're undergoing in relation to it, mean so much to you
isn't necessarily a negative thing, but it does indicate that you're too heavily invested in one thing and place.
I'm not about to say "I think you should seek counselling because you spend a lot of time online and have found friends there" because I'm the same. But you might like to think about it, because you are definining yourself so strongly in terms of your presence and your reputation here.
I know nothing about your age or circumstances or skills or anything else about you -- maybe you can't leave the house -- but I do think you should ask the question; is it unhealthy for you to care quite so much about your relationship with PerlMonks?