Hm. Keeping it vaugely on topic: you /can/ code that project yourself. Don't make Mark find somebody else to do it. He'll write bad code. He'll also cause you and your friends legal headaches. Come to think of it, I'm getting to far ahead of myself (literaly). Try this language called perl. You might need to write this compony you've never heard of called O'Reiley to get a book and a CD, since you don't have internet access. And I'm not sure there's a port to DOS. Hm. You might want to look into Linux too. Do you even have a computer yet? What the hell am I talking about. Oh, and ignore that part about on-topic. Um. It will get better. Then it will get worse again. And up. And down. And down. And down some more. You might want to just kill yourself. But you can't, since that would cause a huge paradox, and possibly destroy the universe.
You might want to just forget about this. Here, down this bottle of Robitousin, then you can just call this all a bad dream.
Warning: Unless otherwise stated, code is untested. Do not use without understanding. Code is posted in the hopes it is useful, but without warranty. All copyrights are relinquished into the public domain unless otherwise stated. I am not an angel. I am capable of error, and err on a fairly regular basis. If I made a mistake, please let me know (such as by replying to this node).