Problems? Is your data what you think it is? | |
PerlMonks |
[OT] Best support mail everby DrManhattan (Chaplain) |
on Apr 08, 2003 at 04:16 UTC ( [id://248808]=perlmeditation: print w/replies, xml ) | Need Help?? |
It's spring time, and once again daylight savings time reminds me of my favorite technical support email ever. This series of emails was sent by a user of one of the ISPs PSINet absorbed a few years ago before it went bankrupt. His grasp of english was somewhat less than perfect. I've removed his email address and the last names in the interests of privacy.
---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 28 Oct 2000 18:48:09 -0400 (EDT) From: user@shell1.tiac.net To: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Reminder Dear Support Service: Please ensure that the time (clock) of all shell accounts be turned one hour back today (Saturday, the 28th October). Do not send me anymore autoresponse messages. They are FULL of infested worms you deserve! Thank you. I suspect this man was beaten up by an auto responder as a child. ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 28 Oct 2000 19:01:58 -0400 (EDT) From: user@shell1.tiac.net To: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Re: Reminder #tiac-2834072 I HAVE TOLD YOU RIGHTLY MANY TIMES THAT YOU SHOULD WITHOUT ABOLSIH THE AUTORESPONSE MESSAGE SYSTEM WHICH SI BOTH FULL OF INFESTED WORMS AND VERY ANNOYING, BUT YOU YOURSELVES FOR SURE ARE COMPLETELY OBSTINATE WHO THINK YOU COULD DO ANYTHING AND DO NOT ALLOW OTHERS TO TELL YOU THEIR FEEDBACKS. THEREFORE, BY CONSEQUENCE, YOU ARE GETTING THIS AGAIN. IT DOES NOT CHANGE MY MIND AT ALL. I AM DOING THE RIGHT THING. YOU CANNOT CONTINUE THIS OR ELSE YOU WILL BE GIVEN MORE PRESSURE TO ABOLISH IT WITHOUT FAIL! yOU ARE COLDHEARTED! THAT IS ALL YOU GET UNTIL YOU STOP SENDING ME THIS STUPID AUTORESPONSE MESSATGE. YOU FULL OF MANURE! Date: Sat, 28 Oct 2000 18:49:02 -0400 (EDT) From: The Tiac Support Group Autoresponder - Do Not Reply <autoreply@psi.com> To: user@shell1.tiac.net Subject: Re: Reminder #tiac-2834072 Thank you for contacting The Tiac Support Group Your mail is important to us and has been assigned ticket number #tiac-2834072 for tracking purposes. If you would like to post further updates regarding the same issue, please include this ticket number in the SUBJECT line of your email. Since this is an automatic response, please do not reply directly to this message. Instead, please direct all future email to: support@tiac.net ---------------------------------------------------------- Your message was: >From user@shell1.tiac.net Sat Oct 28 18:48:58 2000 To: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Reminder Dear Support Service: Please ensure that the time (clock) of all shell accounts be turned one hour back today (Saturday, the 28th October). Do not send me anymore autoresponse messages. They are FULL of infested worms you deserve! Thank you. Flash back to earlier that same year when the customer requested information on establishing a web site. ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 09:13:22 -0400 (EDT) From: user@shell1.tiac.net To: support@tiac.net Cc: sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Establishing a website TO WHOM it MAY CONCERN: I have been considering to establish a website. If you have access for customers to do so, how could I start one and make it accessible to anyone who wishes to access to the one I may establish? Would there be any fees for having one on this account I am on? For good reason, without delay/without fail, please QUIT sending me autoresponse messages. It is UNACCEPTABLE and VERY ANNOYING, so please do *NOT* send me them anymore. If you continue, I will *only* send them back along with even more hard-pressuring complaints to force you to ANNIHILATE them COMPLETELY for good! Understand? Thank you. He sent this one about 20 times. ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 09:33:59 -0400 (EDT) From: user@shell1.tiac.net To: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: NO AUTORESPONSES PLEASE SEE YOU DID NOT LISTEN TO MY COMPLAINT WHICH STANDS FIRM. YOU CANNOT DO THAT. YOU YOURSELF SAY TO DIRECT THIS EMAIL TO support@tiac.net BUT YOU STILL LET IT AUTOMATICALLY SEND THIS STUPID MESSAGE. THEREFORE, I AM STILL HITTING YOU WITH HARD PRESSURE TO ANNIHILATE THIS. IT DOES NOT CHANGE MY MIND ABOUT IT SO YOU ARE GETTING THIS TO FORCE YOU. PLEASE SUBMIT THIS HARSH COMPLAINT TO YOUR GROUP AND LET THEM SEE FOR THEMSELVES. I ABHOR AUTORESPONSE MESSAGES! YOU UNDERSTAND? Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 09:13:32 -0400 (EDT) From: The Tiac Support Group Autoresponder - Do Not Reply <autoreply@psi.com> To: user@shell1.tiac.net Subject: Re: Establishing a website #tiac-2489242 Thank you for contacting The Tiac Support Group Your mail is important to us and has been assigned ticket number #tiac-2489242 for tracking purposes. If you would like to post further updates regarding the same issue, please include this ticket number in the SUBJECT line of your email. Since this is an automatic response, please do not reply directly to this message. Instead, please direct all future email to: support@tiac.net ---------------------------------------------------------- Your message was: >From user@shell1.tiac.net Sat Jul 29 09:13:28 2000 To: support@tiac.net cc: sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Establishing a website TO WHOM it MAY CONCERN: I have been considering to establish a website. If you have access for customers to do so, how could I start one and make it accessible to anyone who wishes to access to the one I may establish? Would there be any fees for having one on this account I am on? For good reason, without delay/without fail, please QUIT sending me autoresponse messages. It is UNACCEPTABLE and VERY ANNOYING, so please do *NOT* send me them anymore. If you continue, I will *only* send them back along with even more hard-pressuring complaints to force you to ANNIHILATE them COMPLETELY for good! Understand? Thank you. ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 09:56:44 -0400 (EDT) From: user@shell1.tiac.net To: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: FINALLY PROVEN Finally, I have sent you over ten messages to pressure you so therefore, you MUST get that off without fail! Now, you understand that you should quit sending the customers that autoresponse message but MUST without fail remove that automatic response system completely? That'll show that auto responder! Tech support responded to him, and got a spirited reply: ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 16:39:55 -0400 (EDT) From: user@shell1.tiac.net To: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Re: FINALLY PROVEN #tiac-2489348 Dear Russ, Sorry, no, I am NOT going to change my mind but be more than firm about what I told them this morning with several messages to show you and them that they CANNOT just send autoresponse messages as it si VERY ANNOYING, and I ahve told one of the technical support staff 2 weeks the SAME thing qwhich stands so. Therefore, I am very clear and very direct that you MUST QUIT saying: "cannot', "no", and all the negative words but DO IT WITHOUT FAIL AND DISABLE THAT! That is why I am speaking as a two-edged sword against you for not doing what has to be done. I will NOT change but stand firm. Please DISABLE that autoresponse system NOW WITHOUT FAIL. That is it. Now, please do NOT send me anymore autoresponses or you will still receive them along with more complaints. Do you understand that you CANNOT just say "cannot" but do it and disable it without fail? Consider this matter without delay and without fail! Thank you. Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 14:28:17 -0400 (EDT) From: Russ <support@tiac.net> To: user@shell1.tiac.net Cc: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Re: FINALLY PROVEN #tiac-2489348 Thanks for using support mail. The autoresponse system is used to let customer's know that their messages have been received. There are no plans to disable the autoresponse system, as it is viewed as a valuable tool to ensure customers that their issues are being taken care of. We apologize for the inconvenience, but feel the autoresponse system is a necessary part of our support system. Thank you, Russ TIAC Tech Support This issue was escalated to a senior tech: ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 22:19:55 -0400 (EDT) From: user@shell1.tiac.net To: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Re: FINALLY PROVEN #tiac-2489348 STOP TALKING LIKE THIS TO ME! THIS DOES NOT CHANGE MY MIND AT ALL. PLEASE RECONSIDER ALL WHAT I SAID. I AM TRYING TO SHOW YOU HOW I FEEL BUT OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE NOT LISTENING SO THAT WILL ONLY LEAD ME TO SEND YOU MORE E-MAIL TO YOU UNTIL YOU DO WHAT I ASKED FOR. I WILL NOT LISTEN TO YOUR NEGATIVE WORDS. JUST QUIT SAYING YOU CANNOT AND WILL NOT BUT DO IT. THAT IS WHY I AM CONTINUING THIS UNTIL YOU ARE SWAMPED WITH MORE EMAIL TO CONVINCE HOW WRONG PSINET IS. NO, IT DOES NOT MATTER WHETHER OR NOT IT IS IMPORTANT FOR THEM TO TRACK. NO, IT IS STILL ANNOYING TO ME. I DO NOT CARE IF YOU SAY I AM THE ONLY CUSTOMER WITH THIS COMPLAINT. DESPITE YOUR BAD AND NEGATIVE WORDS, I AM UPSET AND WILL ONLY PRESSURE YOU WITHOUT FAIL AND GIVE YOU A HARD TIME UNTIL YOU GIVE UP. I AM VERY CLEAR AND VERY DIRECT AND STAND FOR WHAT I SPEAK! STOP TELLING ME "CANNOT" OR "WILL NOT" BUT DO THAT AND GO REMOVE THAT WITHOUT FAIL!!!!!!! QUIT SAYING NEGATIVE THINGS BUT DO IT!!!!!!!! YOU CANNOT JUST DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO BUT GET THAT REMOVED! I MEAN IT. RECONSIDER THIS MATTER. GOT ALL I SAID? Date: Sat, 29 Jul 2000 21:58:49 -0400 (EDT) From: Rick <support@tiac.net> To: user@shell1.tiac.net Cc: support@tiac.net Subject: Re: FINALLY PROVEN #tiac-2489348 Thank you for writing tech support. The automated response system is part of our support system and cannot be removed or changed. It this there to let the end user know that we have indeed received their message. It also provides important information such a tracking the number that the end user can refer to in any correspondence with us. Tech support is a two way process. This is done so issues can be resolved in a timely manner. Despite your passion in trying to get this removed, you are the only customer that is complaining this and we cannot and will not remove the autoresponder. I'm sorry you don't like this, but it's an important part in our troubleshooting and support process. I do apologize for the inconvenience this may be causing you. -- Rick Sr. Tech Inter.Net / ioNET / TIAC Support email (support@ionet.net) Here's the last one I have: ---------- Forwarded message ---------- Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2000 17:51:56 -0400 (EDT) From: user@shell1.tiac.net To: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Cc: support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net, support@tiac.net, sysadmin@tiac.net Subject: Listen to this Dear Russ, Please understand that you CANNOT simply say that PSINet would not disable but DO IT WITHOUT FAIL or else you will only get more e-mail messages with this SAME word until you do what I asked for. QUIT saying you will not disable but DO IT WITHOUT FAIL! This is *NOT* going to change my mind because I am VERY CLEAR and VERY DIRECT SHARPER than a two-edged sword which is to show you how upsetting it is to me to receive such STUPID autoresponse messages. You *MUST* stop acting like you are now but learn to listen to what the customers have to say instead of being NEGATIVE! I am sorry but I must defend against your negative word which must be annihilated. Therefore, you CANNOT continue telling me or any other customers you would not disable that from the system. I have told you many times VERY CLEAR and VERY DIRECT WITH RIGHT REASON, yes! Obviously, you yourselves refuse to listen because you yourselves are being hardhearted who do not care what the customers say! You will only receive more even more heaps of this until you do something to change it. That is what you are getting them for. TOO BAD! TOO BAD! TOO BAD! YOU *must* REMOVE THAT AUTORESPONSE MESSAGE THING OFF FROM THE SYSTEM WITHOUT FAIL, yes, or you will only receive these e-mails which is what you yourselves including Russ deserve! Now, you have to do what you are supposed to change that. Reconsider what I have very clearly stated as shown above and DO IT WITHOUT FAIL! Date: Sat, 19 Aug 2000 15:37:04 -0400 (EDT) From: Russ <support@tiac.net> To: user@shell1.tiac.net Subject: Re: Putting blocks... #tiac-2560618 Thanks for using support mail. There are no blocks that we can place from our end. You may be able to, depending on the mail program you are using, place a block using your mail program. You would need to check the help section of your mail program for more information on accomplishing this. Also, the autoresponse system is in place for a reason. That reason is to let our customers know that their email has been received, and to keep them updated on the status of their particular issue. This is considered to be a valuable communication tool between ourselves and our customers. Therefore, we will not be able to disable this system. We apologize for any inconvenience this may cause you, but we would rather you view this system as a benefit and not a nuisance. Thank you, Russ TIAC Tech Support -Matt
Back to
Meditations
|
|