You might have to consult the Dark Gods to get this answer. I don't know if Perl-fu is strong enough for this. (Though, of course, the White Knight will disagree with me.)

In addition, this might require a stronger sacrifice than just a chicken. You might have to sacrifice a whole goat for this one. Though, personally, I'd start with a white dove and increase the sacrifice as needed.

In case you don't remember the sacrificial hierarchy, it's:

1. mice
2. rats
3. white doves
4. cats
5. black doves
6. non-purple dogs
7. non-red chickens
8. purple dogs
9. red chickens
10. sheep
11. white goats
12. small children with birthmarks
13. black goats
14. small children without birthmarks

(This response is meant completely in humor. I have no idea what nbstat does, let alone how to get Perl to play with it. The opportunity was too good not to take.)