Lose weight: Naah, I'm a good weight right now.
Get in shape: What kind of shape are you thinking? Rhombus? Trapazoid?
Money Related: To be related to money, now that's a concept.
Get a Date: Had one once, February 30th. She didn't show.
Become an Uber-Coder: Naah, that would only mean more work. I'm a Perl programmer, therefore I'm $lazy[0] by nature.
Win the Lottery: Would be nice, but I'm not betting the bank on that one.
Get a Life: As opposed to losing one? Or how about getting an Un-life?
Get a Job: No thanks, got one I like already.
More Work: Are you !@#$%-ing nuts?
Less Work: Hey, it's already a $government{agency} job. How much less can there be?

So, I think I'll stick with my resolution from several years back (and still running): I resolve not to make any more New Year's Resolutions.