I knew no one in the buildings or on the planes. I have a former sister-in-law and husband who live Long Island. We're still close, and at 3 am this morning he sent me an email which I will excerpt here:

It is now 3:30 a.m. and I have just returned home from Ground Zero, what was once the World Trade Center. As many of you know, in addition to being a Pastor I am a volunteer firefighter. Our department was called to standby and assist NYFD as needed. Around 5:00 p.m. 9/11/01 our unit was directed to go down to the World Trade Center....

My impressions of the scene: This was nothing like I ever could have imagined. These was 2-4 inches of concrete dust covering everything. Vehicles were upside down and burned out. NY Fire Department vehicles were abandoned, glass was shattered everywhere and buildings looked like they were bombed like I see in history books about WWII. There was paper flying all over and dark smoke still burning in parts of the rubble. Over the past three years I have developed friends who are city fireman and police. Some I have heard are safe, others I haven't heard yet. When the news first starting coming in, the were many people in the congregation and preschool families who new of someone who worked at The World Trade Center. Some we heard were safe, others I haven't heard about yet. Pray for us all.

I am praying. Constantly. For all of us. For the victims. For their families. For our enemies. I tell you now that I have not felt the same since I watched that second plane fly into the building. I watched a mass murder on live television. How can anyone see such a thing and remain untouched?

I couldn't work yesterday. I couldn't focus. People were fighting for their lives and tuning a database just didn't seem like much compared to that. I hung out in the CB and passed news along. None of it was good. At times great debate raged in the CB and I ignored it. I had seen too much rage. I didn't want to add any more.

The TV was like a drug that I couldn't stop taking. My son's soccer game was cancelled and I was happy because that meant I could go home and watch more news. Still all bad. I went to pick up my daughter from school on a brilliant Autumn evening. The sun still shone, the breeze was wonderful, the light was beautiful and golden. And the world was a dark, scary place.

I have no words of comfort for earthboundmisfit. Only apologies. I'm sorry we were complacent. I'm sorry we thought that evil could never touch us. I'm sorry that human beings can do such things to each other.

My 11 year old daughter sees and hears all the news, and does not understand. My 9 year old son loves policemen and firemen and army men and he is angry that anyone would hurt them. My step-daughter is at college. Unbelievably, last night we were discussing flying her home for Christmas. My wife said she would have to fly back on New Year's Eve and we simultaneously said "No, not that night." Not a night when everyone is watching. When someone could choose to make a statement. Better to be inconspicous. Travel on another day.

And then today it hit me. Yesterday was no holiday or anniversary that I knew of. Yesterday was just another day. No day is safe anymore. It's just different now. And I think the news will be bad for a long time.

Dave