Why can't we just be a Buddhist monastery and teach Perl-do and Perl-jutsu?

Because it is not: the religious metaphor of the Monastery is deliberately and for a good reason IMHO a generic one. But in some traits it is more of a western nature.

I researched this answer a bit, and found out that (according to the online J/E dictionary I use) Perl in Japanese is Paari (パール).

Thank you for your research, which I certainly value much and will save for future reference, but it is my understanding that 道 and 術 are kanji while the transliteration of "perl" is probably katakana, and I don't have the slightest idea if one can mix them freely like you do. Not saying that you can't, I just don't know! Hopefully someone with a better Japanese knowledge will shed some light on this. Incidentally not too much time ago I heard that $Larry is also studying it.

Update: liverpole informs me that it's fine to mix katakana with kanji.

So, we have some new areas to add to perlmonks

Haha, adding new areas, no seriously: haha! Like it or not, this is the most common source of downvotes in PMDs. While I hate that this is the case a priori... on a really serious basis, I would also not add such areas. For Perl-jutsu and Perl-do should permeate quite about everything anyway. When you tell someone how to do some particular thing in answer to a SoPW, you're teaching a little (or not so little) piece of Perl-jutsu. With passing many pieces of Perl-jutsu, and slowly showing how to shape a Perl program in a perlish way, the teaching of elements of Perl-do also takes place. In fact the latter is not really something that can be taught in the strictest sense, it is probably more true that it is something one gains conscience of in the long run, day by day.

パール道 (Perl-do): The Philosophy of Perl

I think that as with some other Japanese words, "philosophy" is an inaccurate translation of the real meaning of "do"...