#!/usr/bin/perl
#
#######################################################
# Visitor Alert Script
#
# This script notifies you by email whenever your website is visited.
#
#######################################################

print "Content-type: text/html\n\n";     

$sendto = 'you@yourdomain.com';

$mailprgm = '/usr/sbin/sendmail -t';

$page = $ENV{'DOCUMENT_NAME'};
$sitename = $ENV{'SERVER_NAME'};
$client = $ENV{'HTTP_USER_AGENT'};
$camefrom = $ENV{'HTTP_REFERER'};
$addrin = $ENV{'REMOTE_ADDR'};
@ip = split (/\./, $addrin);
$binip = pack ("C4", @ip);
$isp = gethostbyaddr ($binip, 2);

{

   open (MAIL, "|$mailprgm") || die 'Could not open mail program';
   print MAIL "To: $sendto\n";
   print MAIL "Subject: Visitor Alert\n";
   print MAIL "From: Visitor Alert\n";
   print MAIL "\n";
   print MAIL "Visitor Alert\n\n";
   print MAIL "A visitor from: $isp ($addrin)\n\n";
   print MAIL "OS and browser: $client\n\n";
   print MAIL "Page name: $page\n\n";
   print MAIL "Referrer: $camefrom\n\n";
   print MAIL "Page visited: $sitename\n\n";
   close (MAIL);

}  

exit;
[download]

Actually, the URIs do not have to be ugly if you use the path_info instead of the query string: http://myhost/index.html becomes http://myhost/a.cgi/index.html. You can even keep the URL same as before by using a ScriptAlias directive (which I suppose your host does not let you have, though).