bear with me as 1.) this isn't really poetry, and 2.) my perl skill level has yet to grant me knowledge of all ways to ab^H^Huse perl
the CB has been full of Monty Python humor today, so i thought i'd add my own small contribution. i hope you enjoy...
#!/usr/bin/perl
### Script used from:
### http://www.muffet.com/jokes/comedians/python/holy_grail.html
$Movie = "Monty Python and the Holy Grail";
$Scene = 4;
$action[battle,sounds]
+ ;
$action[BlackKnight, defeats, worthless-knight]
+ ;
ARTHUR:
$you{ fight => 1, strength => 'many men' }
+ ;
$me{ name => 'Arthur', title => 'King of the Britons'
+} ;
sleep 2;
join $me, Camelot, seek land, knights && bravest && fi
+nest,here;
sleep 2;
push @worthy, $you; $answer = join $me, $you
+ ;
sleep 2;
$me{ demeanor => 'sad'}; so eq it; come, Patsy
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: None, shall, pass
+ ;
ARTHUR: ?What?
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: None, shall, pass
+ ;
ARTHUR: (!quarrel) && $you{ good => Sir => knight },
but, $me{ desire => 'cross bridge' }
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: Cross && die
+ ;
ARTHUR: $me{'title'} && command && "stand aside"
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: foreach (@man) { !move; }
ARTHUR: So eq it
+ ;
$action[hah]
+ ;
$action[parry,thrust]
+ ;
$action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,left,arm,""),chop()]
+ ;
ARTHUR: Now, stand, aside, push @worthy, $you
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: chop() eq scratch
+ ;
ARTHUR: ?Scratch?, arm eq off
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: !(arm eq off)
+ ;
ARTHUR: ?Well, what eq that, then?
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: arm eq off < worse
+ ;
ARTHUR: You, liar
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: Come-on, you eq pansy
+ ;
$action[hah]
+ ;
$action[parry,thrust]
+ ;
$action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,right,arm,""),chop()]
+ ;
ARTHUR: Victory eq mine
+ ;
$action[kneeling]
+ ;
Lord, $thank =~ /thy merc-/
+ ;
while (Arthur eq kneeling) {
$action[BLACK_KNIGHT, select($Arthur{target => head}), kick ]
+ ;
}
BLACK_KNIGHT: Come-on, then
+ ;
ARTHUR: ?What?
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: Have, at, you
+ ;
ARTHUR: $you{ brave => Sir => knight }, but, fight eq mine
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: ?Oh, had enough, eh?
+ ;
ARTHUR: Look, you && stupid && bastard, (!arms)
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: (arms)
+ ;
ARTHUR: Look
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: Just eq fleshwound
+ ;
$action[BLACK_KNIGHT, select($Arthur{target => chest}), headbutt ]
+ ;
ARTHUR: Look, stop, that
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: Chicken, Chicken
+ ;
ARTHUR: Look, $your{leg} eq mine, Right
+ ;
$action[wop]
+ ;
# the script omits which leg is cut off
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: Right; for ($that) { kill(you) }
+ ;
ARTHUR: You'll, ?What?
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: Come, here
+ ;
ARTHUR: ?What are you going to do?, ?bleed on me?
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: I eq invincible
+ ;
ARTHUR: You eq loony
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: while(1) { $triumph++ } Have, at, you
+ ;
ARTHUR: Come-on, then
+ ;
$action[wop]
+ ;
$action[ARTHUR, select(BLACK_KNIGHT,other,leg,""),chop()]
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: All, right; it eq draw
+ ;
ARTHUR: Come, Patsy
+ ;
BLACK_KNIGHT: Oh, oh, I, see; $you{ action => running}, then,
you && yellow && bastards
+ ;
Come, back && select(whats,coming,to,you)
+ ;
I'll, chomp($your_legs)
+ ;
decnartne ~ entranced