I knew it was possible, didn't think it would take so bloody long!
$t='|.|/';
%t=("\|l"=>"z,",
'l',8888888888888,$t,
'._sV888P^','~^9888ka-',
'.-\Q889' , '888/z-',
"-_J88f 188KJ-",
"-:388l o o t888[=."
,".>88l j88E:._"
,"Z3886._ ,J.__.488R=;."
,"/288888888888888S^.",
"j^7Z988888885R^L-",
,'./jQV9TYVR\[\~',
"|~|! |~|~. "
,' l | ',
,'_ _ " , "._,',
".)_)._) (_.__,.");
@Y=keys(%t);@Z=values(%t);sub sah{$x=shift;$x=~s/\s+//g;
$x=~y/\!-\~/A-Fa-f/s;return hex($x)}foreach(@Y){$_=sah($_)}
foreach(@Z){$_=sah($_)}$w=!$|;$dp.=chr(($Z[3]/62418209+$w)).
chr($Y[6]/34-!$|).chr('1'.$Z[0]).chr(4*(($Z[7]+$Z[1])^3)).
chr(!$|+!$|+2*$Y[0]).chr(substr($Y[6],0,2)*2).
chr(substr(($Z[3]/$Y[3]),1,2).$Y[5]/2).chr((!hex($t).!$|.$w)+1).
chr((!hex($t).!$|.$w)+1).
chr(oct(4*($Y[0]*3^2*$Y[0]))-(substr($Z[3]/$Y[3],1,2))).
chr(!$|+!$|+2*$Y[0]).chr('1'.$Z[0]-!$|).chr($Y[6]/34-!$|).
chr(((abs($#t).abs($#t).hex($t))-(!$|+!$|))).
chr(($Z[0]*8)-$#Y+4-$Z[1]+!$|).chr(($Z[0]*8)-$#Y+4*!hex($t)).'!';
print "$dp\n";
Kickstart