Unless, unless, unless.
How I long to dally with you again.
The Damian has so justly banished you,
swinging the frosty sword of cold logic and hefting the impenetrable shield of maintainability.
Still I long to whirl with you in the flowered fields of convoluted logic.
If only.

Update: Mispelled Damian Damien!
Update: Wording, formating improvements.

non-Perl: Andy Ford