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(From Perl5-Porters) Jarkko's Quote of the Day

by japhy (Canon)
on Feb 28, 2001 at 04:44 UTC ( [id://61246]=perlmeditation: print w/replies, xml ) Need Help??

What is this talk of software 'releases'? Klingons do not 'release' software; our software ESCAPES, leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake!

japhy -- Perl and Regex Hacker
  • Comment on (From Perl5-Porters) Jarkko's Quote of the Day

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The Complete Klingon Coder
by footpad (Abbot) on Feb 28, 2001 at 04:57 UTC

    And for completeness:

    1. "This code is a piece of gagh! You have no honor!"
    2. "A TRUE Klingon warrior does not comment his code!"
    3. "By filing this bug report you have questioned my family honor. Prepare to die!"
    4. "You question the worthiness of my Code?! I should kill you where you stand!"
    5. "Our competitors are without honor!"
    6. "Specifications are for the weak and timid!"
    7. "This machine is a piece of GAGH! I need dual Pentium IV processors if I am to do battle with this code!"
    8. "Perhaps it IS a good day to Die! I say we ship it!"
    9. "My program has just dumped Stova Core!"
    10. "Behold, the keyboard of Kahless! The greatest Klingon code warrior that ever lived!"
    11. "You cannot really appreciate Dilbert unless you've read it in the original Klingon."
    12. "Indentation?! - I shall show you proper indentation...on your skull!"
    13. "Klingon function calls do not have 'parameters' - they have 'arguments' -- and they ALWAYS WIN THEM."
    14. "Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak."
    15. "I have challenged the entire quality assurance team to a Bat-Leth contest. They will not concern us again."
    16. "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the targs they are!"
    17. "Cry havoc and let loose the bugs of war."

    Collected, over the last few years, from several different 'Net sources, along with a link for the true warriors.

    When Perl 6 appears, you may find Damian's own contribution for Klingon Code Warriors; preliminary details here.



    1. By the way, if anyone else has more of these, please /msg them to me. I'm keeping a collection and will eventually post them somewhere continue to update this as needed.
    2. Fixed the gagh; thanks OzzyOsbourne
    3. Added link to node mentioning Damian's Diary threat.
      that geocities link can be viewed at
Re: (From Perl5-Porters) Jarkko's Quote of the Day
by OzzyOsbourne (Chaplain) on Feb 28, 2001 at 21:30 UTC

    I actually feel bad that I know this, but the first line should be "piece of gagh".


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