I know where you're coming from, but I think we're in two slightly different situations here ... you're likely dealing with a case where people are forced to use the project. I've been in that situation, and people complain about what they don't like, but they might not send it to the right people, and might take days for it to reach the developers (if ever).

On my more current work, I'm building software that is completely optional. It's intended to help people, but no one's being forced to use it. When I built the system for Fark -- if people weren't happy, they'd leave ... we had no idea why, and really, we didn't care. (this was well before Drew was selling advertising) The submission queue was just to make it easier on the admin, so we could weed out the crap people were submitting.

Now, I'm working on software to help scientists find data. They have other ways to find their data, so most don't bother using what we have ... if they use it, and aren't instantly happy with it, they don't fill out the feedback forms or e-mail us ... they just go away. So, once or twice a year, I go to conferences to tell people about new features and try to get the scientists to tell me what they want as new features ... some aren't willing to tell you what they're looking for, as it might tip their hand on what sort of research they're trying to get funding for, others are just happy with their current methods and don't care.

...

Of course, in some ways, I've probably harmed the users by taking to them. I tried sending out an explanation of what's wrong with some of the catalogs, and someone asked 'what's "normalized data"'? We speak completely different languages when talking about the same problems, but I can't design an interface for their use without understanding how they think about their problems and the words they use to discuss concepts within their specialty.

But, anyway, I think jenda and I both agree -- developers and the users need to interact, so we can understand what the users want and can fix the problems they find.