- Chuck Norris can finish an infite loop in 1.3 seconds.
- Code written by Chuck Norris cannot be optimized.
- Chuck Norris doesn't need compilers nor editors. He roundhouse kicks the disk and the bytecode appears.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use GOTO. Code comes to him.
- Chuck Norris had a brief conversation with Donald Knuth in the early 60s. Donald is still writing about it.
- Chuck Norris was once angry at the world. So he created Windows.
- 90% of the worlds spam is handtyped by Chuck Norris. It takes him only 3 minutes.
- Every time you don't use "use strict" Chuck Norris kills a kitty.
- All the good code on CPAN has been written by Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris can fill a ZFS in seconds, without boiling his blood.
- The best compression algorithm in existence are Chuck Norris fists.
- The one true bracing style is the one Chuck Norris uses.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use subroutines to break down long streches of code. He roundhouse kicks instead.
- Every program Chuck Norris has written can be run backwards. It will rollback whatever it did.
- No matter how you encrypt your traffic, Chuck Norris can read it by just looking at the cable. His ears can intercept wifi transmissions.
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Larry Wall, Randal Schwartz, Damian Conway, and Mark Jason Dominus are merely Chuck Norris sockpuppets.
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Chuck Norris doesn't debug, his code doesn't have bugs!!
But if he is going to debug *your* code he only stares at your screen until every bug squashes itself.
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