What have I learned? Cranial-Rectal insertion is more common than I'd like it to be. Even though the documentation says modules will not be added in require lines if the module name is in a variable, it doesn't say that if you just plug in the name of a module, <code>DBI->connect("dbi:odbc:".$server, $username, $password), it won't search it out to include it even though you have invoked it.

Go Figure!