Each answer generates a thousand new questions. If you will incorporate gravity, what will be the mass of your conductor? Which brings up what is the conductor made of? Copper, Alumunum, Gold? Then if you need to assume an infinitely long conductor, your weight will be infinite. :-( Or how is the finite conductor terminated at the ends, which brings up all sorts of tensile strenth and flexibility coefficients, because the force will be working against the conductor's ability to flex.

I was thinking last night, that you could probably just make an OpenGl video of a line segment wiggling like an inch worm, and claim that a current pulse of X magnitude, Y duration, and Z shape caused it. Then let the skeptics write the equations for you as they try to prove you wrong. :-) That would be real hubris.