in reply to [OT] Am I just a bad programmer?
Keep an eye on https://www.theregister.co.uk/2020/05/07/worldwide_job_vacancies_for_you/ and its weekly equivalents. During lockdown, they are offering this as a free service and some of the jobs allow 100% telecommuting.
I doubt whether you are a bad programmer or you wouldn't have survived this long. I strongly suspect you are bad at your current job because you are not enjoying it and the two usually go together. Look for things you enjoy and see whether it is appropriate to turn them into a career. Be careful, because the corporate graveyard is full of restaurants that were started because someone enjoys cooking on a small scale but couldn't make the commercial grade. Computer related areas you might consider are:
- Security. A talk I went to just before lockdown showed a huge shortage of computer security types. I believe coursera offer training, but don't know the details.
- Documentation - my commonest rant. If you like writing, most documentation I have seen could use improvement.
- Cloud computing. A friend who teaches it for a living tells me that anyone with an Azure administrator course behind them is almost guaranteed a job.
- Training. This seems to be booming right now as people try to acquire extra skills during lockdown.
- Admin. You couldn't be worse than your current bosses at that, could you?
Others have made the point about private projects. I think it's important to get your enthusiasm for something back. And the advice you get here may not be the best. Try getting on to a professional recruitment firm and asking what they recommend.
Update: I have tried several times to approve the OP, but I suspect that there is something I or the system can't understand.
Update 2: Fixed minor typo. Thanks, soonix. And another, quoted in the follow-up.
Update 3: As usual, xkcd is on the mark: https://xkcd.com/1768/