sub _get_row {
    my @row;
    my $q_sep = quotemeta($self->{sep});
    my $match_sep = qr/\G$q_sep/;
    my $start_field = qr/\G(")|([^"$q_sep]*)/;

    # This loop is the heart of the engine
    while ($line =~ /$start_field/g) {
      if ($1) {
        push @row, _get_quoted();
      }
      else {
        # *** ALWAYS FALLS HERE ***
        push @row, $2;
      }
      my $pos = pos($line);

      # *** THIS ENTIRE IF BLOCK IS NEVER EXECUTED ***
      if ($line !~ /$match_sep/g) {
        if ($pos == length($line)) {
          return @row;
        }
        else {
          my $expected = "Expected '$self->{sep}'";
          confess("$expected at $self->{filename}, line $., char $pos");
        }
      }
    }
    confess("I have no idea how parsing $self->{filename} left me here!");
  }