use strict;
use DBI;
    my $db = DBI->connect("dbi:mysql:dbname=database", 
		       "user",
		       "password");
bind_col(q{SELECT MEH, MOOSE FROM BLEH WHERE pissant = ?},q{"3"},'$meh', '$moose');

sub bind_col	{
my $sth;
my $statement = shift;
my $execute = shift;
$sth = $db->prepare($statement);
$sth->execute($execute);
$sth->bind_columns(\(@_));
while ($sth->fetch) {
print @_;
}
}

$db->disconnect();