if ($action eq 'dothis') {
    $html = &DoThis(blah);
} elsif ($action eq 'dothat') {
    $html = &DoThat('blah blah');
# ... 14 options later ...
} else {
    $html = Errors(qq{
        I hate John. That bastard is so fucking picky
        he won't let us get away with a simple "die".
        If you got this message, don't be comming to me!
        Its his shitty idea so bring it up with him!
    });
}