# The code beyond here is only used if the XS is not installed

    # Hope nobody defines a sub by this name
    sub UNIVERSAL::a_sub_not_likely_to_be_here { ref($_[0]) }

    sub blessed ($) {
      local($@, $SIG{__DIE__}, $SIG{__WARN__});
      length(ref($_[0]))
        ? eval { $_[0]->a_sub_not_likely_to_be_here }
        : undef
    }