sub p () { #Look a p :^)
    use constant P=>' )'; #Another P :^\
    use constant Q=>'* '; #Alright a Q ;^)
    substr(P,1,1); #There's that P again :^I
}

sub q () { #WOW another q :^O
    eval join '', split /./, s//rxlgcdjqfvbpsohduwyvcmbjdxopd/ & map {tr/[a..z]/[z..a]/ . P | Q} split //; #Man, P or Q... how can I choose :^/
}

$, = p; #This is just too much of a give away :^(
print q; #Just Another Perl Hacktress ;^P