use Tie::RegexpHash;
my $text = <<TEXT;
	God damn you for your birth, you mummaphvker.
	I'm so PI\$\$\$\$ed, I hope you go to Hell.
	You have ruined my life. \$KRU you.
	I H\@TE you forever, you goddamn fvker
TEXT
print "Before:\n$text\n";
# - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
my %profane;
tie %profane, 'Tie::RegexpHash';
# profanity replacements
$profane{qr/ruin/i}                  = 'lighten';   # ruin
$profane{qr/hell/i}                  = 'Heaven';    # hell
$profane{qr/(damn|darn)/i}           = 'bless';     # damn
$profane{qr/h(a|@)te/i}              = 'love';      # hate
$profane{qr/(f|ph)(u|v)(c*)(k*)er/i} = 'lover';     # f..ker
$profane{qr/pi(s+|\$+)/i}            = 'touch';     # piss
$profane{qr/(s|\$)(c|k)r(ew|oo|u)/i} = 'Kiss';      # screw
# - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
my $profanity = join("|", keys(%profane));
$text =~ s/($profanity)/$profane{$1}/g;
print "After:\n$text\n";

__END__

Before:
	God damn you for your birth, you mummaphvker.
	I'm so PI$$$$ed, I hope you go to Hell.
	You have ruined my life. $KRU you.
	I H@TE you forever, you goddamn fvker
After:
	God bless you for your birth, you mummalover.
	I'm so touched, I hope you go to Heaven.
	You have lightened my life. Kiss you.
	I love you forever, you godbless lover