sub AUTOLOAD {
  no strict;

  (my $m = $AUTOLOAD) =~ s{.*::}();

  *$m = make_method_here()
    if $m =~ /fulfils some condition/;

  croak "AUTOLOAD: can't access method $m";
    unless defined *$m{CODE} and $_[0]->can($m);

  goto &$m;
}