if ($pizza eq 'hot' && $order eq 'on time')
{
     $tip = 'nice';
}

if ($pizza eq 'cold' || $pizza eq 'made wrong' && $order eq 'late')
{
     $tip = 'shitty'
}

if ($tip = 'nice')
{
    take_new_delivery();
}

if ($tip = 'shitty')
{
    blame_grunt_below_you();
    atleast_its_free_food();
    take_new_delivery();

}

# gotta love having a 'blame bitch' below you AND free food *chuckle*