#!/usr/bin/perl
use strict;
use warnings;

package UglyTie;
use Data::Dumper;

sub TIESCALAR {
    my $class = shift;
    bless [ @_ ], $class;
}

sub STORE {
    warn Dumper @_;
}

sub FETCH {
    warn Dumper @_;
    1;
}

package main;
sub lv : lvalue {
    tie my $response, 'UglyTie', @_;
    $response;
}

lv( "foobarbazquux" x 2, 10, 5 ) =~ /whatever/;