my @ideals = ('honesty', 'integrity', 'responsibility'); $elected = 'again'; abuse() if $elected; ignore() until $caught; $judge = $judge || 'Gomery'; investigate(); report(); sub clear { print "\n"; } sub ignore { $almost_caught++; if ($almost_caught > length 'a lot') { $caught = 'caught'; } } sub investigate { our @liberals = ('blame', 'Paul Martin', 'Ralph Goodale', 'Jean Lapierre'); our @past = ('Jean Chretien', 'Jacques Corriveau', 'Jean Pelletier'); @friends = @liberals; shift @friends, 'blame'; push @past, 'blame'; } sub report { $, = ', '; print 'Absolve', @friends; clear(); print 'Blame', @past; clear(); return; } sub abuse { $lie++; $cheat++; $steal++; shift @ideals unless 'people care'; push @ideals, 'out of the way'; sort @ideals if 'in the way'; }