sub refuse_to_cooperate {
    my $beef_with_user = shift;
    print qq(I'm refusing to cooperate with you: $beef_with_user\n\n);
    die "Don't go away mad, just go away.";
  }


if ($username eq 'gwbush') {
  refuse_to_cooperate(qq(Spoiled momma's boys should not be given armies to play with.));
}