BEGIN { my $defense }
while(@Slashdot){
     open(MyMouth, "Speak");
     my $mind;
     foreach ($PerlFlamer) {
          &listenClosely;
          &respondCalmly;
          &repeatFacts;
          s/falsehoods/truths/gi;
     }
}
END { 
     my $karma eq '0';
     my $worry eq '0';
     my $smiles++;
}