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#!/usr/bin/env perl

...
    inline_c => sub { epoch_sec($date) },
});

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                  Rate      str2time split_nocheck     BrowserUk      
+inline_c
str2time       16554/s            --          -87%          -93%      
+    -96%
split_nocheck 126315/s          663%            --          -45%      
+    -71%
BrowserUk     229820/s         1288%           82%            --      
+    -47%
inline_c      437015/s         2540%          246%           90%      
+      --