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#!/usr/bin/perl -w

...
   map { [$_, -M] }
   glob('*');
}

Benchmark: timing 100 iterations of chad, swartz...
      chad: 118 wallclock secs (56.91 usr + 47.25 sys = 104.16 CPU) @ 
+ 0.96/s (n=100)
    swartz: 1515 wallclock secs (142.33 usr + 1044.36 sys = 1186.69 CP
+U) @  0.08/s (n=100)