0 - I'm a blankster
0 - My devices have no keyboard
0 - I use a chorded keyboard that transcends your concept of keys
26 - I need the other keys for Perl sigils!
31 - I write code in the original APL
31 - ß counts only as one letter!
∞ - I use an Optimus keyboard
ℵ₁ - I reject your Latin-centric notion of letters