print"@{sub hacker;[grep{sub Just;$::{$_}eq-1}keys%::
];sub Perl}[!!_+(++${sub another;_}),$?,//,$#$],$/";;
[download]

Requires Acme::What, junk and the (yeah, I know it's cheating)...

use Acme::What;
use junk JElOQ3siZm9yY2UucG0ifT1fX0ZJTEVfXztvdXIkeDsqV0hBVD1zdW
       . J7cHJpbnQiJHgKIn07KmZvcmNlOjp0aGU9c3ViOmx2YWx1ZXskeH0K;

use the force;
the force = strong;
what is the force?
[download]

 use strict;
 use warnings;
 use feature 'say';

    ( )   ,say map{
   ( )    ,s <..>
   ()     ,$ _=lc crypt$_,$&;
    ()    ,s [[fy34].+]
     ()   ,s [[bg]|(?<=r$)]
    ( )   ,and $_}
   ( )    ,@ .= qw = JuzXb NO9(V PeKVj ACUcu =
[download]

New monk here and my first node.

 
#!/usr/bin/perl

print$_?chr(length()+96):' 'for<<''=~/(?<=D).*?(?=D)/g;
ODOOOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOODODO0OOOOOO000OOODOO000000OOOO0OODOO0OOOOOOOOO
ODOOOOOOOOOOO0OOOOO0OOD0OOOOO0OOOOO0OOO0OOOOO0OOOOOOOOO
OODOOOOOOOODO0OOOO0OOOOO0OOOO0OOOOO0OOO0OOOOO0OOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOO0OOOO0000000OOOO000000OOOO0000000ODOOOOODO
OOODOOOOOOOOO0OOOO0OOODO0OOOO0OOOOOOOOO0OOOOO0OOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOO0OOOOO0OOOO0OOOOO0OOOO0OOOOOOOOO0OOOOO0OOOODDOOO
OOOOOOOO00000OOOOO0OODOO0OOOO0OOOOOOOOD0OOOOO0OOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOODOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOODDOOO
ODOOOOOOOODODOOODOOOOOOOOOOODOOOOODOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODO
[download]

Use Ctrl-F to find another JAPH ;-)

perl -le 'map{$y=$_/12;print map{("@"," ")[-38>$_||$_>-36&&($_**2/800+
+$y**2-1)**3>$_**2*$y**3/1600&&0.2*($_-48)**2-15>15*$y||15*$y>($_-48)*
+*2-12]}-40..60}reverse-15..15'
[download]

                   read*DATA,$_,13**+3;y #{}
                 {}{};s>[\s*]+>>g;$i=length;s/
              (.{$i})(.)/$2$1/gx while$i--;eval;;
           ;for(q\just \.q)another),q)perl hacker)){
         for(split$!){$_=$$h{$_}?do{$_=$$h{$_};;;;;;;y
       <A-Za-z0-9+/>/ -_/&&unpack'u',chr(length()*.75+32
      ).$_}:$"x$];$w=(sort{$b<=>$a}map+length,split$\=$/)
     [$]-$]];s/^(.*?)\s*$/sprintf'%-*s',$w,$1/egm;push@f,[
    [split$\],$w]}for$x($?..-//+$]){push@{$x[$x]},@{$f[$_][
   $?]}?pop@{$f[$_][$?]}:$"x$f[$_][//]for$?..$#f}$s.="@{+pop
  @x}$/"while@x;$k=$g=chr(ord$^);for(split$\,$s){$s=$g;$$s=$_
  ;++$g}$==135;print$w="\e[H","\e[J";{print$w;print$"x$=,$$_?
 chop$$_:''for$k..$g;select$,,$,,$,,.01;--$=&&redo}}__END__!!!
 C**wX*yX****o*f*****ig*pv*AoB**LhCffX*g*I**I*lyI****8*g*FC8L8
 8**v*I*LC*g9*8I*o81ga***ICXp*I*Ig8***CIv*wF*B*8*I*8*wX**gCvIA
 g*LA,L>8*Cg*CCyy*w**cIi**F>*L=8**L*X**='CgCLfg*vC8wXgX*Kef*9*
B8C**I*g*gvIALKX*L**C*vy*>I*gX***I*Xg8**w1*}CA*=y8*y******lAyw*
=8C*gy*f****f**y*8**loK****K88A**8f=,*II****'g*f*F*F*wf*v**gvCA
C8*y*y*LIgK******Xf''***'*I***A*X=yiov***g>C*,*8*g****IAgvA*I*X
Fj**gCy*8Xv**89v'*XI*ILy**=A**C1A*8y*v*o**v9KvXyw**f**f**X8**C*
*Fy******C*C9**L*vf**C*vF*8gg$*y**v*8v**AL**II*ILKsK*Xyv**gCI**
8**y        fI**K*F*8**L*,*I9*C**8*BiFw*fg,A8h8*gF'        B***
vg*L           *8*C*8*F*fX*CC8*g*B***,Iv88A*****           gC8X
*1*C              C***IF*u******CX8**L>Xi=***              *C**
C*v8*               **ICI8I*>*KC***8IF*B*8*               *oIF*
**K**                Av*ALvg**C*I*g**'*wBA                **FLg
*'1''*                 f=*yLLI*****'ff'*                 *fo*9g
 *IA>y                  F***v*8FIoy'*C*                  *Lf**
 I*8f8v                  *k'y8F*=vw*>g                  **Kf**
  vy8*X>                  *K*L*XgKw*'                  o*g'vF
   *1By'                   gBv*LI***                   XX8**
   KB***'                  Xv**A'**8                  v***of
    ilgCgC*                 **'***f                 y*BA*8i
     **LI*y*                *8IoIv*                *oC,y*g
      ,**gI**=               *yC8i               'I8g*L>8
       '9{8gB*>A             F*18I             **8A=*v**
        *yA'*1pf**           *wv**           ****,I8l*v
         *IAB*AC*f**f       I**yA**       yF*C1*Avp***
          **gCv'*****KIyK******8C'g9I**yFK*IL8*A=vo*y
           C*ABX*F*fv8***AC,*9***wy***IKI****,Kn=i**
            **Xf8w*L1*w*9***8*,ygf*X**88oKCIC***I**
             I*8*'*F8IL***CL**y*>*>I*****fCC*8LC*y
               **XC***A*I*g*C*FA*w****Bv**CfyA*I
                g*I*y*****A*BI9'g**gy*Iw*L8*lgX
                 *IXXX*A**X**8g*I88*I***B*i***
                   *y**X*FXAyg****Avgo*F*F*F
                     *XAg*gC*i****,*LI**>*
                       IK*I*Xg****tv****
                         XCA**8pr*CIg*
                           A*K=***y*
[download]

#!/usr/bin/perl
while                                   (1)                           
+             {
($s,$m,$h)=localtime(); if(length($h)==1){$h="0".$h} $q=$h;$r=$h;$h1=s
+ubstr($h,0,1); 
$h2=substr($h,1,1);if (length($m) == 1){$m="0".$m} $w=$m; $t=$m; $m1=s
+ubstr($m,0,1);
$m2=substr($m,1,1); if (length($s) == 1) {$s="0".$s} $e=$s;$y=$s;$s1=s
+ubstr($s,0,1); 
$s2=substr($s,1,1);while ($h1>0) { if ($h1 %2 == 0) { $str1.=0; } else
+ { $str1.=1; } 
$h1=int($h1/2);} $str1.="0" while length($str1)<4;$str1=reverse($str1)
+;while ($m1>0) 
{ if ($m1%2 == 0) { $str2 .= 0; } else { $str2.=1; } $m1 = int($m1/2);
+ } $str2.= "0" 
while length($str2) < 4;  $str2 = reverse($str2); while ($s1>0) { if (
+$s1  % 2 == 0)
{$str3.=0;} else {$str3.=1;} $s1=int($s1/2); } $str3 .= "0" while leng
+th($str3) < 4; 
$str3=reverse($str3);while ($h2>0) { if ($h2 %2 == 0){$str4.=0; } else
+ {$str4.= 1; }
 $h2 = int($h2/2);  } $str4 .= "0" while length($str4) < 4;  $str4 = r
+everse($str4); 
while ($m2>0) { if ($m2 % 2 == 0){ $str5 .= 0; } else { $str5.=1; }$m2
+=int($m2/2); }
 $str5 .= "0" while length($str5) < 4;  $str5  = reverse($str5);  whil
+e ($s2>0) { if 
($s2%2 == 0){ $str6 .= 0;} else {$str6 .= 1; } $s2= int($s2/2); } $str
+6 .= "0" while
length($str6) < 4;$str6=reverse($str6);while($q>0){ if ($q % 2 == 0) {
+ $str7 .= 0; }
else { $str7 .= 1; } $q = int($q/2); } $str7 .= "0" while length($str7
+) < 6; $str7 = 
reverse($str7); while ($w>0){ if ($w % 2 == 0){ $str8 .= 0; } else{ $s
+tr8 .= 1; }$w=
int($w/2);} $str8.="0" while length($str8) < 6; $str8=reverse($str8); 
+while ($e>0) {
if ($e % 2 == 0) { $str9 .= 0; } else { $str9 .= 1; } $e = int($e/2); 
+} $str9 .= "0"
while length($str9) < 6; $str9 = reverse($str9); @x1 = split//,$str1; 
+@x2 = split//,
$str4;  @x3 = split// ,$str2;  @x4 = split//,  $str5;   @x5 = split//,
+ $str3;  @x6 =
split//, $str6;  @x7 = split//, $str7;  @x8 = split//, $str8;  @x9 = s
+plit// ,$str9;
print  "\n\n\n   $x2[0]   $x4[0]   $x6[0] \n   $x2[1] $x3[1] $x4[1] $x
+5[1] $x6[1]" ;
print "\n $x1[2] $x2[2] $x3[2] $x4[2] $x5[2] $x6[2] \n $x1[3] $x2[3] $
+x3[3] $x4[3]";
print " $x5[3] $x6[3] \n\n\n\n\n @x7\n @x8\n @x9\n\n\n\n\n $r:$t:$y\n\
+n\n"; sleep 1;
( $str1,  $str2,  $str3,  $str4,  $str5,  $str6,  $str7,  $str8,  $str
+9 )  =  "";  }
[download]

Albeit very simple, I thought I'd share.

#!/usr/bin/perl
my%cd=reverse('a'=>'$','='=>'5','7'=>"'",'d'=>'1',','=>'%','2'=>'r','y
+'=>'(','1'=>')','"'=>'3','t'=>'@','e'=>'{','>'=>'4','s'=>'n',"\n"=>'h
+','c'=>'"','('=>' ','$'=>';','\\'=>'c','r'=>'d',
':'=>'9','h'=>"\n",'.'=>',','@'=>'t','['=>'\\',';'=>':','f'=>'m','i'=>
+'}','n'=>'y',' '=>'s','{'=>'>',']'=>'l','3'=>'[','%'=>'o','9'=>'f','m
+'=>'=','_'=>']','l'=>'a','4'=>'2','p'=>'.',
')'=>'e',"'"=>'i','}'=>'7','5'=>'_','o'=>'p');my$r='';while(<DATA>){$r
+.=$_;}my$p='';foreach(split("",$r)){$p.=$cd{$_};}chop$p;eval($p)and(p
+rint($@));
__DATA__
=(s;"
$ds5sioi:h=(s;1{mss5s\hssss\s3n9_3%s3"9)3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n923%s3"9[3
+%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9r3%s3"9'3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9)3%s3"9f3%s3y9)3sl%h
+ssss\s3n9r3%s3"9'3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9r3%s3"9'3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9r3
+%s3"9'3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9r3%s3"9r3%s3n9[3%s3"9r3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n
+9r3%s3"9r3%s3n9[3%s3"9r3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9r3%s3"9r3%s3n9[3%s3"9r3%s
+3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9r3%s3"9'3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9r3%s3"9'3%s3y9)3sl%hss
+ss\s3n9r3%s3"9'3%s3y9)3sl%hssss\s3n9r3%s3"9'3%s3y9)3slhl:h=(son"s5s h
+ssssns54s3s3%hssss"s54s;"
$d%hssssys54s3cy3he:hhmpd{$"
s t;1{mes>h=(stas5st;]:hssssmpd{$"
s taes>hssssssss=(s s;@%s;$ses5sn.a}@ s393%s;]se:hssssssssmpd{$"
s s)s,,s;$ses>hssssssssssss.d}y@s;n">;@7:hhssssssss7hssss7h7ssssshsshs
+hshshsh
[download]

(Note: you may want to download it, or some of it won't work)
Enjoy! :)

       +($\,$})=($/,q$@$);@@=split$!=>($@
      =$}|'/'=>$:=$@,++$@,$@++,$~=(++$@=>
     ++$@),$.=$",$_=$/|$}.(+(++$@=>++$@).
    $~).++$~.$..($;=$}|'!').($^='.'|$}).+
   ('/'|$}).$~.($@=$}|'(').($"='%'|$}).(+
  +++$:=>++$:,+++$:).$..($:^'"').$".$:.(q
 },}|$}).$..$@.$;.($}.$}|'#+').$".$:.q|,|
 );sub f{print@_}sub i(_){my($l,$j)=0;my(
 $x,$y,$z,$c,$h,$v,$d,$s,$p,$o)=(+@{+pop}
 ,qw w+ -w,qw\| /\,sub{$j=$_[0];$l+$j>+@@
 &&($l=$?);@@[do{$l=$j+$l;$l-$j..$l-1}]},
 $?);f$.x($z+1),$c,$h x$x,$c;f$.x($z-$_+1
 ),$d,$s->($x),$d,$s->($_-1-$p),$_>$y?!$p
 &&++$p?do{$o=$z-$y;$c}:$p++?$d:$c:$v for
 1..$z;f$c,$h x$x,$c,$p?($s->($z-$o),$d):
 ($s->($z),$z<$y?$v:$c);f$v,$s->($x),$v,
 ,$z-1>=$y?$_>=$z?($s->($x),$c):($s->($
 z-$_-$o),$d):$y-$_>$z?($s->($z),$v):(
 $s->($y-$_),$y-$_==$z?$c:$d)for+1..$
 y;f$c,$h x$x,$c}+i,,for[24,24,24],[
 1,24,0],[24,1,0],[1,0,24],[24,3,1]
[download]

$_ = [
        74, 116, 113, 113,
        28,  92, 104, 104,
       108,  95,  91, 103,
        20,  67,  87,  99,
        92,  15,  86,  78,
        79,  86,  79,  91,
        20,  19,  00,  73,
     ];

{vec(${print${$j},$/;$j},$i++
,8)=$$_[$i]+$i;$$_[$i]&&redo}
[download]

$_=[$j=#];
          101,  98, 102, 108, 28,
           69, 111, 108, 108, 23,
           87,  99,  99, 103, 90,
           86,  98,  15,  62, 82,
           94,  87,  10,  81, 73,
           74,  81,  74,  86, 15,
            2,  31,   6,  17,  0,
$i=$j-$j];

{vec($j,$i++,8)=$$_[$i]+$i;$$_[$i]&&redo||`$j`}
[download]