Clarifying: FAKEHANDLE *is* a real filehandle, as said in the comment ("FAKEHANDLE is a closed filehandle"), so it runs just fine. I didn't include the code lines treating it though, as I found them rather redundant.

Unfortunately system() does just the same thing here as my IPC::Open3 call, and as well as being an equally nice bit of code (nicer?), it doesn't prevent the segmentation fault.