return @out == 1 && ! wantarray ? $out[0] : @out;
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So if @out has a single element, return '1'. If it contains zero or 2, or more elements, then if "wantarray", return @out, otherwise return the first element.

I can't imagine using that once, let alone thousands of times. ;)

Update: Woops, "&&" is higher on the precedence table than "?:" in any language I know of. My mistake.