I don't think that this can be achieved by placing the center of the circle to any of the four points you mention ...
Let me re-state this. If you want symmetry, then positioning the circle at one of those 4 points will ensure that. No other point will give you symmetry. Full stop.
The problem with this (please learn to use the links), is that you are comparing eggs with oranges. That is to say why are you comparing the 'gap' of the bottom square in column 1 with a 'gap' of the top square in column 2? It doesn't make any sense at all.
If you fill in the rest of the tiles, you'll see that once you compare like with like (ie. caps top and bottom of the same columns), that "problem" goes away.
And you'll also see that once like for like gaps are equalised, the circle is centered at the half-tile offset in both x-axis and y-axis (the magenta circle on my plot). And for a full grid, it will always be one of those 4 positions.
Only now, having typed that last sentence does the word "irregular" from your OP ring alarms in my head....
What you real want is an algorithm to evenly encircle any pattern of tiles on a grid, partial or full. Yes?
(Assuming so, I'll let my brain mull that completely different problem to the one I was solving and get back to you if I come up with anything :)
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