Maybe a little bit sarcastic but not too much :)

Capture::Tiny is single file pure perl ... so installable

Also, circa 2001 How can I invoke SQLPLUS within a perl script?

And Obligatory :) Yes, even you can use CPAN, A Guide to Installing Modules, Top 11 (GOOD) reasons not to use someone else's Modules, Top Seven (Bad) Reasons Not To Use Modules