OP here, I SWEAR TO REFRAIN FROM POSTING IN THE FUTURE. I solved my own problem. I formated the output of the shell command into a text file, then wrote this instead:

#!/usr/bin/perl

use strict;
use warnings;

open ( my $WIIB, '<', "WhatIsInBin");
our @binstrings = <$WIIB>;
close ($WIIB);
my @cards;
for my $line (@binstrings) {
    push ( @cards, ( substr ($line, 0, 22) ) );
    push ( @cards, ( substr ($line, 22) ) );
}

print "Bash Flash!\n";
while (1) {
    for my $currentcard (@cards) {
        print "$currentcard \n";
        <STDIN>;
    }
}

exit; 

#
[download]

I hope this helps someone in the future. Note to self: Keep it simple, Keep trying.