in reply to opening remote files

If you install LWP, you get a very nice program called GET. This program gets the contents of a URL and prints it out. You can read from this output like a file by using a pipe in the open() command.
use strict; open(FILE, 'GET http://www.yahoo.com/index.html |'); while(<FILE>) { print $_; } close FILE;

If you don't want to use LWP there are other programs that can get the contents of a URL. These programs can be used the same way.

It should work perfectly the first time! - toma