I’m surprised this got downvoted. I think it’s both funny and correct, ++.

I *used* to read well north of 1,000 wpm but that was back when Tolkien bewildered me because I thought Saruman and Sauron (/\bSau?r\w+?n\b/g) were the same character because I accidentally stumbled on that speed reader trick as a 10-year-old. I admit to being pretty free with the old upvotes for a cadre of monks I know and adore. I do tend to read the whole post before downvoting.