AFAIS did the OP repost this SO blog entry to inform us. But he didn't write it! So what's the point in attacking him?

Wouldn't it be more constructive to write a better opinion piece on Perl?

You've listed valuable points, thanks for that.

So what kind of help do you need to assemble a good article about "Why Perl is still relevant in 2022" ?

PS: And yes, after looking more closely, these chained elsifs with eq make me cringe too. That's obviously better solved with an extra hash-mapping. But that's true for most languages.