Getting the computer to read out (parts of) emails sounds terrifying and hilarious at the same time. Bonus points if you can get it to sound like HAL9000.

A new business message marked "important" has arrived from Nigeria. Me
+ssage as follows:

I am Dr. Bakare Tunde, the cousin of Nigerian Astronaut, Air Force Maj
+or Abacha Tunde. He was the first African in space when he made 
a secret flight to the Salyut 6 space station in 1979. He was on a lat
+er Soviet spaceflight, Soyuz T-16Z to the secret Soviet military
space station Salyut 8T in 1989. He was stranded there in 1990 when th
+e Soviet Union was dissolved. His other Soviet crew members 
returned to earth on the Soyuz T-16Z, but his place was taken up by re
+turn cargo. There have been occasional Progrez supply flights
to keep him going since that time. He is in good humor, but wants to c
+ome home.

In the 14-years since he has been on the station, he has accumulated f
+light pay and interest amounting to almost $ 15,000,000 American 
Dollars. This is held in a trust at the Lagos National Savings and Tru
+st Association.

...
[download]