I'm out of ideas. I've never used DBIx::Class more than a toy, as for any serious SQL work, I found it easier to write the actual SQL statements myself. Your journey is another example what I've been afraid of.
TYhe good news is that solution #1 (i.e. install mariadb server and DBD::mysql but don't touch anything in Perl at all i.e. dsn to by DBI::mysql) works OK after perserviring. I guess there is a dead end because this is the simplest solution and nobody (should) bothers with the other way.