Some code would be good to see.

Based on your description though, it sounds a lot like you have your "server" and "client" roles reversed, where the clients are listening for the server to connect to them.

A more typical solution would be to have a server that is listening for inbound connections. Clients then make the connection to the server, pass their update to it and disconnect. The server can then decide what to do with the information it is given (whether it keeps it, uses it, caches it, discards it, whatever). Clients are then responsible for determining what to do when they cannot connect.